Weapons Check
by dilemmalicious
Summary: NaruSasu! Two young shinobi compare their arsenals on a hot summers day, then Naruto proves he's still the Number One Ninja of Surprises. LIME and LEMON, plus kinky things to do with chakra. Yaoi.
1. Always be prepared for anything

**Title: Weapons Check**

**Author: Dilemmalicious** - Putting the _uke_ in Sasuke since...er, well, since yesterday, actually.

**Summary:** Two young shinobi compare their arsenals on a hot summers day. Sasuke gets a surprise.

**Pairing:** Naruto x Sasuke, but only in a mild sense in this part.

**Rating:** Mmm. 15 here in the UK, but for some it might be 12A. Further chapters climb past 18+.

**Spoilers:** I've only seen up to 135 of the anime, and am not up to date on the manga. Therefore, this is most likely wildly off...

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of Naruto, and admit this sadly.

**Warnings:** This chapter, there are Hints of Shonen-ai (Is it me, or does that sound like a perfume?), WAFF, ninja equipment, my somewhat evil sense of humour. Unbeta'd, but never fear. The lads are 16 and, here in the UK, fair game.

**Quick Nota Bene from the author:** Apply usual "Ack, first time writing in this fandom!" panicked disclaimer. Add in fact that author is British, and so's the spelling. Three more chapters, increasingly lemon-filled no less, can be found either at AFF or on my livejournal account: be warned, those slide the slippery slope to Yaoi. Whoo! Saying this, the story below works perfectly well on its own as a one-shot.

Archived: Currently at and but if anyone else wants it, lemme know.

start...

Leaves dance. Lifting, falling, the air filled with the scent of them as they move, cut early from their summer branches. The wind races in circles, glinting. Green. Gold.

Blue.

The pale, heat-worn blue of summer skies. The flash of fierce, laughing blue eyes. The grey-blue bite of metal shurikens. The wild, white-hot blue of chakra. The deep blue-black of midnight hair.

Red.

Drops of blood spattering the air with red the colour of autumn maples. An orange scarf dyed darker red with sweat. The calculating wariness of crimson red eyes. The soft pinkish red of a tongue sticking out of lips pursed with determination. The random, electric red of demonic chakra.

The wind stills, and leaves fall. Two exhausted young men drop with them.

"Speed training. Middle of summer, and he says we need to work on 'speed training'." The blond pants his complaint, the grass under his mouth muffling his voice. "Kakashi's still a bastard."

Beside him, chest heaving, Sasuke throws an arm up over his eyes, his hand still limply clutching a kunai. Gravity is pushing his back into the ground; the air feels like shards of hot glass in his lungs. Dying. He knows he's dying. It felt like this before, that time with Haku, that other time with Naruto at the Valley of the End, the time with Orochimaru... The kunai slips, nearly nicking his ear before sinking tip first into the ground. He's done the nearly dying thing a few too many times to care about it much. Despite the heat, he shivers. There's a cold place in his very soul. He forces himself to move his head the inch it takes to look over at his team mate, the one so determined to thaw him out.

Naruto is splayed like a starfish, belly down, and gasping like a beached whale. Like Sasuke, his chuunin uniform is drenched with sweat, the dull greys and greens blacker around the back, under the arms, around the neck. His scarf, the one flamboyant shout of childhood he kept after passing the exam, lies limply across his sweaty neck.

Minutes pass. Even Naruto is too tired to talk for a while, so Sasuke stares up at the dappled light of the tree above him. Fast. They're both so fast now. They were trained by Kakashi, who was trained by the Yondaime Hokage, Konoha's own Yellow Flash, who was trained by the Sennin Jiraiya who was trained... by dodging the hordes of furious bathing beauties. Sasuke smirks tiredly. The famed speed of the Konoha ninjas, honed by perverts.

There's a groan over to his right, and Naruto flips over to get out of the sun, to share Sasuke's shade. He's still sprawling, so his left hand clunks carelessly against Sasuke's right. Neither cares. Caring takes energy. They both watch the shifting patterns of light as their breathing evens out.

Finally Sasuke sits up, unsnaps his waist-pouch and grabs the water bottle. Two deep swallows, then he upends the bottle over his head. Water trickle through his chuunin vest, slides coolly through the thin mesh shirt. He shivers. There's a laugh from the blond, and Naruto's hand tugs his sleeve. Sasuke obligingly tips the remainder over his friend. They grin damply at each other, the satisfaction of a good workout mellowing the Uchiha into the rare facial expression.

"What else you got in your pouch?" Naruto asks idly, pulling some grass from a clump besides his ear. At his friend's raised eyebrow, he shrugs, biting into the stalk of grass and twiddling it casually with his tongue. "Everyone seems to have different things. Once you get past the regulation stuff, that is. Chouji's got snacks and the soldier pills, Kiba's pouch is full of dog treats. What do Uchihas carry?"

"More water, for one," Sasuke replies dryly, lifting a second bottle out and sipping slowly. "Whetting stone. Sealing wax. More weapons."

A sceptical snort answers him. "Everyone carries a shitload of weapons. I bet I carry a hell of a lot more weapons than you."

A pause in the quiet drinking. "I doubt it." The mellow tenor is full of smug surety.

Heat and exhaustion forgotten with the luring red cape of rivalry, Naruto goes from languidly horizontal to furiously vertical almost instantaneously. "OH YEAH!"

"Yeah."

"Wanna bet, bastard?"

Coolly, Sasuke recaps his water bottle, then smirks up at the enraged blond. "The last job's payment?"

Naruto rolls his eyes. "Unlike some, I got rent to pay. How 'bout the one with the least weapons pays for..."

"Ramen," says Sasuke, matching Naruto's eyeroll with his own.

"I was gonna say the onsen, bastard," huffs the blond, indignantly crossing his arms.

"Riiiight." Sasuke stands, lazily stretching out tired muscles with a barely visible wince. "Actually, dobe, the onsen sounds good."

"See? So, is it a bet?"

"Hn."

Dryly muttering under his breath, "I'll take that as a yes," Naruto pulls out a small notebook from his chuunin vest. "So for the speed exercise, we declared ten kunai, twenty shuriken, as the maximum to throw, right?" A stubby pencil heads one page 'Bastard', the other with 'Naruto the Great'. Sasuke, peeking over his shoulder huffs at the latter and earns himself a toothy grin as the numbers are written down.

"Let's start!" Naruto sets the notebook down, and enthusiastically starts to pull things out of his vest. Moments later, two sleeves of ten shuriken each, a bandoleer of light kunai, a few weightier ones, and six jutsu scrolls are on the ground. "C'mon, bastard, I want my onsen."

"Hn." Sasuke drops the same standard equipment on his section of the grass, then smirks as he lays out a second, then a third string of kunai. He pulls out a wad of explosion seals, ostentatiously counting them out until Naruto cheerfully implies that they must be for when his Katon jutsus fail. Scowling at his friend, he grabs the pencil and starts writing down numbers.

Sitting on the ground, Naruto pulls his chuunin vest over his head, exposing a loose black t-shirt. Half a dozen more kunai spill out. He pulls off his hitai-ate, his blonde hair running riot with freedom, and smugly shows Sasuke the neat row of shuriken that had been tucked behind it.

They check the numbers. It's a tie.

Sasuke growls, and yanks off his vest, showing off more shuriken sewn into the dark blue lining. Naruto matches his smirk, and pulls off the scarf. Sasuke blinks, before muttering, "That's where you keep them." Naruto just grins wider, and cautiously lays down the scarf full of one-inch diameter smoke bombs.

They count again. Still a tie.

Off come the wraps. Rows on rows of metal discs sewn delicately onto strips of fabric, overlapping, acting both as armaments and shields. Sasuke has switched the ones from his childhood from white to black, but otherwise kept his weapons pretty much the same. Naruto had added the leg wraps, but refused to hang weights on his wrists. His forearm sheaths were full of thin sharp needles.

They both frown at the tally sheet. Fine.

Off come the sandals. Both pairs have blades that snap out of the soles when triggered. Both hide lengths of garrotte wires in their belts. They strip down to their boxers and t-shirts. Naruto's shorts come off, and there's another two rows of carefully tied jutsu and summoning scrolls. Sasuke's longer shorts yield a pair of tanto, and yet more kunai strapped to his thighs.

Naruto hmphs and, standing, pulls off his shirt. Sasuke looks up and just stares. There are leather straps, with studs no less, across the blonde's shoulders and well-defined chest. It's the kinkiest thing he's ever seen, and considering some of the ways Konoha's ninjas choose to dress, that's saying something.

Naruto grins at the very unfrozen features of his best friend, then turns around. "Like it?" he coos. Flat against his back and held in place by the straps are five blades. Two wakazashi, two thinner blades on the outside, and a small knife, all upside down, all obviously custom jobs. It explained how Naruto could just slip a hand under the back of his shirt and whip out weapons, something that had been pissing off the Uchiha for the past two months. "You remember that escort job to Lightning I did? The smith I was body-guarding was willing to swap skill for skill instead of cash."

Naruto turns around fluidly, the oiled leather moving smoothly against his bare chest. Sasuke's eyes are latched onto his best friend's fingers as they play lightly on the small studs. The blonde notices, and laughs. "Yeah, the leather, that was the hard part. I had to go to a S&M shop and get it custom-made."

Sasuke scrapes together as much aplomb as he can, and says, "I hope you didn't have to swap skill for skill for that too." He's trying for sarcasm, but his mouth had run dry. It came out low and hoarse instead.

Naruto, oblivious, laughs again. "They did ask whether I was a bottom or a top, but when I showed them the blades and scabbard, well, they said it kinda answered the question for them." Black eyes goggle at that, and go wider still as Naruto shrugs out of the gear with practised ease. By the time Naruto turns around, however, he's got the notebook firmly in his lap and is furiously writing down the current totals.

Still tied. Neither of them can believe it, and do a quick recount. Still tied. They both swear, then glare at each other.

"Fine," snaps Sasuke. They've both pulled out all the stops, he might as well show his last resort. He reaches his fingers into his mouth, and takes a small waterproof pouch from its place between his teeth and inside of his cheek. Two soldier pills and a diminutive nail file are held up as exhibit A. He smugly smirks, and waits for Naruto to concede defeat.

Blue eyes narrow. "Fine!" Off come the boxers.

Sasuke gapes at the back of his now completely naked friend. After a second to recover, he snaps out, "I don't think -that- counts as a weapon, dobe." A middle finger is waved at him, the familiarity of the rude gesture helping the Uchiha grasp at what seems to be rapidly retreating reality... Reality that slips away entirely as the blond casually sticks the same finger up his own backside. There's a pause, during which Naruto flexes and grunts, during which Sasuke finds the hot summer air thick and heavy once again. He stands shell-shocked, his mouth a Sahara, heartbeat thundering in his ears, eyes gone unexpectedly Sharingan with the feeling he can't define racing through his veins.

Then with yell, Naruto... pulls out a stubby waterproof case.

Sasuke stares at the vulpine grin that flashes triumphantly at him.

"See? See? I thought, where would -nobody- look for stuff?" Naruto cheerfully opened the bullet-shaped container, showing the small lockpick set and five extra needle darts. "I thought the same as you, putting something in my mouth, but eeuch, it'd probably taste bad. Or I'd swallow it by mistake. So..."

Sasuke just slides down against the tree and lets the words run over him. His friend. His best friend. His best -male- friend had weaponry hidden up his arse. He leans his forehead against his knees. "You win."

"Eh?" The embarrassed but pleased volume of words screeches to a halt.

"You win, dobe. You..." The dark hair quivers. "You..."

Sasuke loses it. He leans back against the tree and howls with amusement. Tears clung to his lashes. Nothing had made him laugh like this ever. Nothing. Nothing had made him feel this alive in all the years since Orochimaru. He laughs, and watches Naruto's slow lazy smile grow wider and wider as he did so. Warm. Warm and wonderful. Like his soul had grown back. Like he'd come home.

-------end...

Naruto is a Top, oh yes he is.

Now, there are three more chapters currently written and posted both on AFF and on my livejournal fic account: http/ not posted them here because I'm very new to and not really sure about the ratings... and the fourth chapter is, well. Um. Let's just say that it gets as hardcore as I've ever written. I hid under the table and wrote it. My laptop smoked after I finished. If that kind of things isn't for you, I personally think this works well enough as a one-shot. But I'd love feedback on the other chapters (and this one, of course!).

**Chapter summaries:**

Part Two: In which Sasuke finds out that standing under trees during chakra storms can be bad.

Part Three: Sasuke gets his wish, there's more erotic fun with chakra, and the author finally gets to the creamy lemon filling, assuming the lads don't nearly kill themselves by making out on all those weapons.

Part Four: Naruto has a brief window of opportunity with the blissed out Sasuke, before the latter recalls he wants to stab him and hang him from a pole. Can our blonde hero convince his homicidal friend that great sex makes up for lousy jokes? Can the author survive having written the full yaoi?

And from there I leave it to the readers as to whether or not I should continue this as a series. There's potential for more, but it's currently fine as is. Over to you.


	2. Standing under trees can be bad

Weapons Check (Chapter 2 of ?): Standing under Trees can be Bad.

**Author: Dilemmalicious-** Putting the _uke_ in Sasuke since...er, well, since yesterday, actually.

**Rating:** R for Rowr.

**Archived: **Currently at but if anyone else wants it, lemme know.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of Naruto, and admit this sadly. Despite wishes, Naruto and the hot ninjas of the said programme and manga are not mine.

**Warnings:** A few suggestive comments, exhibitionism, heavy ninja smootching. Rowr.

The laughter trickles to a couple of snickers. "The hell! Naruto! Is -that- why you're always jumping around?"

Naruto's grin goes that little bit wider, his eyes sliding to the right as his whiskered cheeks grew pink. "Well..." He waits, still grinning, still blushing, as the Uchiha whoops with laughter again. "Well, only for the past couple of years." Sputters of disbelief and delightful outrage make him laugh himself. "Seriously, it's easy. And, " Naruto lets his voice drop confidentially, blue eyes filled with deviltry, "There's a spot there that feels incredibly good in there."

Black eyes stare back astonished into blue, and there's blushing from both ninjas. Naruto's grin turns predatory and he stands.

He's still buck naked. 

Sasuke goes completely scarlet from his bare toes up. It is, to Naruto, extremely appealing. As his friend suddenly realizes he's staring and darts his eyes elsewhere, the blond ninja uses the other boy's panicked urge for visual avoidance and gets into his personal space. Very, very much into his personal space. Sasuke flings himself backwards hard against the tree, only to find himself loosely trapped by his friend's arms braced on either side of him. He could get away easily, no ninja skills necessary. Just a quick duck under the tan, muscular arms, and a headlong dash would get him to the edge of the Uchiha estate. There's the slim possibility that someone would spot him in his boxers, which would bring the fan girls of Konoha baying like a pack of hounds to his doorstep... But surely Naruto, orange-wearing exhibitionist that he was, wouldn't race into town starkers.

Sasuke squeezes his eyes tightly shut. Of course the dobe would. He painted the Hokage Mountain, he wrapped toilet paper around the Ninja training academy, what would a little demonstration of his manhood to the populace of Konoha be in comparison? And Naruto's manhood was definitely something the Uchiha shouldn't be thinking about right now. The blond was so close, so warm, like a furnace standing in front and around him. Hot steady breathes tickle across his face in contrast to sultry summer breeze. So still…

Half-panicked at that thought, Sasuke's eyes pop back open. A still Naruto is a disaster waiting to happen.

The vulpine grin he thought would greet him wasn't there. Instead, thoughtful blue eyes stare into his. It wasn't what he expected. None of it was what he expected.. Maybe he ought to pull out some of his ninja moves after all. This was Naruto, far less likely to take a hint than even the Sound ninjas had. He'd broken quite a few limbs before they'd gotten a clue. Sasuke shifts minutely against the smooth bark of the tree, and prepares to reclaim his personal space the hard way.

Naruto kisses him.

The bark under his hands peel away as Sasuke loses control of the chakra he'd had readied for his escape. Nothing touching him other than the gentle press of lips against lips, and he's immobilized. He waits for his friend to back up, to press in, to do -something-, but the lips remain on his with a steady perfect pressure. Naruto doesn't need words. The kiss says it all: Push me away or pull me close, your call.

The melted ice of Sasuke's heart boils. Hands grabbing the blonde's shoulders, he shuts his eyes tightly and gives in to it. There's a soft, relieved sigh against his lips, then he's pressed back against the tree by the hot solid weight of his best friend. The air crackles as Naruto kisses him hard, the insistent pressure against his lips as distant from the tentative kisses he's had from a few girls as the sun is from the moon. He's on fire with need, and the new, raw sensation makes him groan and open his eyes.

The air is filled with chakra. Crimson and gold.

So terrifyingly familiar from his serious fights with Naruto, power and violence roiling in tendrils around him. The Kyuubi. Orochimaru had told him of it, gloatingly, all about the demon within his friend. It should scare him. Naruto had gained the upper hand over the monster after years of training with Jiraiya, but it still should scare him.

It makes him harder than he's ever been before in his life.

He reaches out a hand, threads his fingers through the blond hair dancing with power. Shocks race through his flesh, sparking with agonizing pleasure. Sasuke digs his fingers deeper, rubs Naruto's scalp and moans. His eyes have gone Sharingan, he knows it, and Naruto… his eyes have changed as well. There's still a touch of blue, like his eyes are on fire, the cooler red edging the white-blue heat of the inferno. There's pleasure in them, delight, and raw hunger. He goes harder still, and digs the nails of his other hand into the blonde's shoulder.

Naruto nips his mouth and leans back just a fraction. "Power's such a big turn on for you, eh, bastard," he breathes. The words lay hot with truth on Sasuke's kiss-reddened lips. "I can give you all the power you want, you know. Just say the word."

And he wants this, desperately. Not just the power that's still wreaking havok in his very blood, but the heat, the sense of connection to another human being, and chakra or no, Naruto is human. But he never wants to rush into anything else as blindly as he did when he was younger. Once bitten, twice shy took on a whole new meaning with Orochimaru, and pleasure alone simply can't be enough for Sasuke. It never was. He forces through dry lips a single word.

"Why?"

Blonde hair tickles Sasuke's neck as his best friend laughs warmly against his collarbone. The Uchiha would thump the other boy, but it would require letting go. He's not sure he can do that.

"That's not the word I meant, bastard," Naruto breathes laughingly, punctuating his words with a bite. Sasuke now knows he damn well can let go, but decides to yank the other's hair hard instead. Naruto just bites harder, still laughing. "Ya know, for a so-called genius, you're an idiot." Sasuke just growls.

The rush of hot summer air between the two boys feels almost cold as Naruto pulls back to look into Sasuke's eyes. Sharingan looks back into eyes gone blue again, still wild and passionate but with that edge of violence drawn back a step or two. Not gone. Not gone by any stretch of the imagination. Sasuke fights the urge to do something, anything that will tip his friend back over the edge. He gets a knowing smile that makes him very suspicious about all the 'training' Jiraiya gave the blonde.

That smile deepens. "Did ya think I fought you four years ago for the hell of it? That I'd had some patriotic urge to keep the Uchiha here in Leaf? That I went with Jiraiya, fought the Akatsuki, went up against freaky Snake-guy just for your lame-ass 'I wanna get stronger' reason?" Naruto leans closer, smile gone, the wild intent back in his eyes. "I fought you for -you-, bastard. I fought them for you. I fought for you, for -me-."

The Sharingan gives the wielder the ability to see the fastest movement of the enemy, to capture their skill and intent with picture-perfect accuracy. Even if Naruto could be bothered to hide it, the Sharingan would expose the inner heart of him. He doesn't need it. The words I love you, the words you're mine hang unspoken in the heavy air. He might as well have been blind when he was younger. He'd seen Naruto's power, but not the Kyuubi. He'd seen Naruto's determination and passion, but not its focus. Sasuke shudders as it all snaps into place, and the hairs at the back of his neck raise, skin pricking with his astonishment.

He unclenches his hand slowly from the thick blonde hair, slowly skimming it over Naruto's brow, tracing the cheekbone under those watchful burning eyes. His fingers trace the other's lips, and slide along the other ninja's chin. Hot. So hot, so slick with sweat, the curve of Naruto's neck, the hollow of his collarbone. The only indication of Naruto's feelings show in the movement of his adam's apple as he swallows and the increasing heat in those blue, blue eyes. Sasuke finds the word in them.

"Please."

Next chapter: Sasuke gets his question answered, there's more erotic fun with chakra, an the author finally gets to the creamy lemon filling, assuming the lads don't nearly kill themselves by making out on all those weapons.


	3. Falling

Rating: N17, baby. 18+ for the UK.  
Archived: Currently at but if anyone else wants it, lemme know.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of Naruto, and admit this sadly. Despite wishes, Naruto and the hot ninjas of the said programme and manga are not mine.

**Warnings:** Hooboy. Let's see. Yaoi. Hot ninja smooching, part deux. A blowjob. Creative uses of chakra. Author's twisted sense of humour.

**Nota bene:** It's called automatic writing, like using a Ouija board only with a laptop. I'm not to blame for any of it. Nope. …Don't believe me? Blast.

So, um. I'm adding this chapter because, having been scrolling through the backlog of fic here, I've found that is relatively lenient about the mature category… so, decided this chapter is safe enough.

Red and gold. Wildly raging chakra pouring around him, mixing with the sunlight dappling his pale skin. His Sharingan is overwhelming him, drowning him in visual detail; every golden hair of boy kissing him, the smoky dark lashes, the individual beads of sweat and water tracing down tan skin… He shuts his red eyes slowly, wanting to feel this moment, to be this moment, not just to see it. The chakra hums agreeably against his heated skin.

Naruto's eyes are already shut, but his mouth, his mouth is open. Light tracery of a tongue against his lips, then through. Sasuke's never kissed like this. Messy. Hot. Devouring. He finds himself digging his nails deeper into the blonde's shoulders, wanting more. His friend obliges, slanting his mouth hungrily, detailing the roof of Sasuke's mouth with a light and teasing tongue. Provocative. Their tongues slid together, duelling for breath. Maddening. Knees nearly buckling, Sasuke shivers deeper into the kiss. He'll kill the dobe for the embarrassment of making him moan, but not now, not when it feels so good.

Maybe later.

That hot, clever tongue is tickling across his jaw, licking its way down his neck, lapping the sweat from the hollow of his throat. Sasuke kneads the dense muscles under his hands, hoping Naruto would take the hint and quit bracing against the tree. The only thing touching him is that burning mouth, and… and… it's just not enough. He starts to growl with frustration, but the sound turns into a groan as the wet heat bites at his pecs and nibbles at the flat dusky nubs of his nipples. Never imagined… His nails break through the golden skin in his passion, and it gets better still. He can feel the blood, feel the red chakra dancing under that skin, healing, pushing against the sensitive pads of his own fingers.

It takes effort to remember he's a ninja, that blood is a fact of life, not a kick-ass turn on. He refuses to give Orochimaru any more credit for warping his brain than he has to.

Blonde hair moving lower, lower, sparking sensation with every accidental brush against his abdomen. The large hands to either side of him slide down the bark. He can hear the rasp of calluses against the smooth tree trunk, and feels stupidly jealous.

Maybe he'll kill Naruto now, just for being a tease.

Or not. He had opened his eyes to glare, and now stares. His rival is on his knees now, all that wild power resting at his feet, and those hands are leisurely starting to pull down the Uchiha's black boxers. White teeth press into the skin of his hip, biting as Sasuke makes an inarticulate sound and buries both hands in that white blonde riot near his waist. Nipping. Leaving marks. Long lazy swipes of Naruto's tongue, under and in his navel, prodding, tasting, have Sasuke using chakra just to keep upright against the tree. The brush of Naruto's strong golden neck against his straining cock makes him shudder with an arousal he'd never before felt. The soft chuckle from below would normally have sent Sasuke into an almost homicidal rage, but lips mouth him through the boxers and if Naruto wants to laugh those warm gusty breaths against his cock, fine.

The boxers get thrown onto the pile of kunai.

Blue eyes meet Sharingan. There's a pause, then Naruto's tongue slips out and flicks across the weeping tip of Sasuke's cock, eyes looking up at him with dangerous triumph. His rival's on his knees and it doesn't mean a damn thing.

Sasuke sucks in a deep breath, shakily. Nails scratch delicately along the tender tissue of his hip, then firmer as the blonde engulfs him. There's a soft crack, as Sasuke's head gets flung back and encounters the tree. He doesn't care. Naruto's kisses are devouring, and this is even more primal. Liquid heat and limber tongue move around his cock, exploring, testing. The rough palm of Naruto's right hand rubs against the Uchiha's thigh and buttock, the left wraps possessively around the base of his friend's cock.

"Naruto…" Sasuke clenches one hand in the blonde hair, bringing the other arm up to bite into his forearm. He nearly said something stupid. He pants instead, the taste of his own sweat a brief distraction from the rhythm Naruto is setting. Slow glides balanced against the tongue pressing his cock hard against the roof of his friend's mouth. Languorous laps at the sensitive bottom of the glans contrasted against the hand that shapes the Rasengen shaping instead his red chakra into an almost electric sheath. Sasuke tastes blood and flings his arm back and away. His own chakra is racing wildly in response to this. The hand clutching the tree sparks blue-white. There's so much chakra in the air. A small part of him is grateful they put up the combat wards to keep out possible bystanders.

He'd heard about blowjobs, but was pretty sure this was a step or two beyond. Way, way beyond. And he's fighting it, the pleasure, the thrillingly torturous singing in his nerves, the feel of his blood. He wants Naruto to concede. Wants to win, although what exactly escapes him.

He feels a smile around his cock, and knows he's about to lose as second before fingers blazing with red light press against the fragile skin behind his balls.

Sasuke breaks and loses control.

"Ahn… AAAH!"

His cry is punctuated with the sound of a thousand birds as his chakra goes wild. The tree behind him falls with a thunderous crash as Sasuke slides to his knees, half draped across Naruto's back. They're both breathing heavily. The air is full of the scent of them, sweat and pleasure and the ozone edge of battle.

Naruto sweeps the damp fringe of Sasuke's hair aside with a tender, shaking touch. Sasuke's half-lidded eyes are black and liquid, like hot coffee, and full of sated pleasure as their lips meet in a suddenly shy kiss. The blonde shifts to sit, careful of the bits of sharp equipment and the tangle of fallen tree limbs. Sasuke falls partly on his lap, slows his breathing before leaning against the other boy's chest. Gravity is just as against him as it was after their speed training. Only better.

He'd say something if he could find the energy.

"So, if a tree falls in the woods, and no-ones around to hear it, does that mean the sex was good?"

He'd -kill- the blonde if he could find the energy.

A soft laugh snuffles into his hair and warm arms embrace him. It'll wait.

Addition N.B. from the author: So… Chakra. When I decided to cave in to the urge to slash Naruto, one of the things that struck me was how certain themes don't get much play in fanfic. Eh? It's a universe with hot ninjas! Magic scrolls and jutsus! Monsters and sharp pointy objects! Wild and kinky se… well, guessing at that one. I figure I'm going to have fun with this stuff. I plan to only write ninjalicous action. Yep, that's my vow, MY ninja way!

Oh, and may I just mention my great amusement with the fact that this chapter forced me to add 'blowjob' to my spellcheck dictionary? And I thought I was in hysterics when I added yaoi to it for my BA dissertation…

Next chapter: Naruto has a brief window of opportunity with the blissed out Sasuke, before the latter recalls he wants to stab him and hang him from a pole. Can our blonde hero convince his homicidal friend that great sex makes up for lousy jokes?


	4. All's Fair

Author: Dilemmalicous: Putting the _uke_ in Sasuke since… um. Well, less than six months now.

Warnings: The full Yaoi. Hot ninja smooching, part three. Fondling and smex. Just a touch of author's twisted sense of humour, as she was spazzing out about writing the above.

Nota bene: This has been written for ages, and I've only just decided to post it here on FF. **I'm serious about this being for mature audiences.** Got an email from a thirteen year old asking for this chapter. To use l33t speak, OMGWTFBBQ. I mean, okay, some of the romance novels out there get more detailed I suppose, and yes, I discovered hard core pr0n when I was younger than that, thanks to an uncle who worked for the Huster magazine publishers and couldn't hide things worth a damn, but -still-..I'm not comfortable about having kids younger than the characters in fic read my stuff. (And there's a reason I put this past the time-skip, dammit. I'm happier if they're at least 16. Otherwise, eek.) I tapped it out in a state of mortification, and stalled so many times that I lost lines of stuff I'd had in my head due to sheer meltdown. Oh, and there's a with a footnote for it at the bottom, along with a small out0take.

Fingers burnished gold in summer sunlight gently run through ebon hair, pulling out leaves, smoothing, stroking. Naruto's still hard, the firm heat of him burning hot and unnerving against Sasuke's hip, but the blonde seems content enough. He's humming. Sasuke's head lays against the crook of the blonde's neck and the sound vibrates through his skin. It's strangely perfect.

There's more sunlight with the tree down but it doesn't matter. The sun's dropped further past the tops of the trees now and there are long stretches of shadows. The afternoon chorus of cicadas mixes harmonies with Naruto's humming in the still air. Sasuke's breathing steadies. He tilts his head back and gives Naruto a languid kiss.

If the earlier workout had had the effect of mellowing Sasuke, the chakra-driven orgasm has made him positively agreeable.

There's warm pressure against his mouth, sensitive hands carding through his hair. He can't recall a time he'd been touched so much, so lovingly. It's strange that it comes from someone he's fought tooth and nail, kunai and jutsu, against for so many years. He's punched these lips that kiss him so sweetly. He's ripped a gaping hole through the broad smooth chest lying under his fingers.

The memory makes him feel cold again, and he shoves it aside, deepens the kiss to rid himself from the chill.

Naruto's mouth tastes different. Salty, bittersweet, like one of those odd lotus root dishes that are specialities of small mountain villages. Himself, he realises with a start of surprise. There's a moment where he tries to break away, then that callused touch he'd wanted earlier starts to explore his ribs with a warm hand rubbing with rough pressure. It's just hard enough for it not to tickle, more than enough to arouse. Sasuke gives in. If the dobe isn't freaking out about Sasuke's come in his mouth, he won't either.

Naruto breaks away for a moment, quickly clearing more of the ground of their equipment. There are too many dangerous things in the chuunin vests for them to be used as a pillow, Naruto's shorts are pretty safe but too soaked in sweat, and Sasuke's are full of shuriken. The blonde grabs a small bottle of the regulation oil used for weapon care, and everything else gets flung to the side. It's going to take them ages to find all their things later on, but neither of them really gives a damn.

Kissing again. He's on his back in thick sun-warmed grass. It reminds him of that long-lost childhood, the scent of crushed grass and the feel of it against bare skin, but that's where nostalgia stops. They're half-pressed together, chest to chest. In a way, it's nothing new. They've fought too often, wrestled each other to the ground too often for Naruto's weight to be unfamiliar. But Naruto is skimming his fingers with surprising delicacy across the back of Sasuke's hands, his forearm, the thin fragile skin on the inside of his elbow. No one has ever touched him like this. Sasuke's shaken out of that languid bliss by the shock of renewed desire.

He's been seduced, is -being- seduced, and it's wonderful.

His hands reach around his teammate to tug the blonde onto his body. There's a smile pressed against his lips. "Sasuke…" Low, lower than he's ever heard that voice before, honey-warm and throaty. It takes effort to open his eyes.

Naruto has always wasted chakra; it spills from him like water from a bottomless font. So much power that he nearly failed the test to become a genin, so bad was his control over jutsus that required only drops of chakra. It was like filling a thimble with a typhoon. The more power a jutsu required, the easier it was for him to do. A paradox. He has more mastery over the power now than ever… but…

Naruto is burning. A man, a creature, a god of fire. Red and blue chakra dance around him, around them both, making blonde hair look almost white, his eyes almost black. His expression tender and a bit worried, his expressively light touch against Sasuke's cheek as he reaches forward… power and love…

Sasuke wants to burn too.

He holds Naruto's hand against his face with his left, moves the other hand up the long muscular thigh. The almost invisible blonde hairs tickling his palm make him shiver with reaction. He pulls himself up and leans in, timing it so that as his lips touch the other ninja's, his right hand gently grasps the other's pulsing cock and traces along the veins underneath.

The blue in Naruto's chakra flares as he whimpers into Sasuke's mouth. The world spins, and the Uchiha finds himself flat on his back again, a hot mouth breathing almost inaudible words of desire against his lips, his cheek, his throat. That familiar weight again, sweat-slick skin against skin. He's lost his hold on Naruto, but doesn't care. Naruto is between his legs, rocking slowly. They're both sporting erections now, and he's drowning in need. Sharp white teeth breaks his skin as Sasuke bucks against him encouragingly.

Pain and pleasure and fire and pleasure…

Sharingan red eyes look into mirroring eyes of Kyuubi red. He should be scared, he should but it's -Naruto-. Considerate, bloody-minded, loud, loving Naruto.

Claw tipped hands rake painlessly down his sides, raising goose bumps along pale skin in their wake, then move under his buttocks, lifting. There are soft kisses across his face, like leaves falling. There's a pause, a soft gurgling sound, and then the feel of oil being smoothed on his cock with lustful care. Lower. Silken brushes against his balls. Lower. Cool wetness caressing a place he never imagined could feel so sensitive. Sasuke knows where this is going, but is too far gone to care. It took two years to repair Naruto's faith in him, but he had never stopped trusting Naruto, even when cold logic dictated otherwise. His hands are tangling in his friend's shock of blonde hair, tugging encouragingly, panting as he murmurs, "Yes."

It was what Naruto needed to hear.

Probing cautious fingers touch him, enter him, careful despite the wild chakra exposing his fierce desire. That gold-tan back arches over the Uchiha, blonde hair brushing against black as he shakily breathes out a whispered "Sasuke…" One is no problem. The second feels strange, the pain akin to the odd pushing sensation of a medic-nin's chakra applied to a wound, a good pain. The third makes him hiss softly and tug at blonde hair with his teeth. There's a low laugh against his throat, then kisses under his chin and across his lips. Red eyes meet red eyes.

There's really only so much he can take. "Do it, dobe."

A bark of laughter, a fierce kiss that mashes his lips against his teeth. Hot flesh pressing against a quivering, stretched muscle. A slow, searing progression that makes the Sharingan flash the world into negative for a moment, turning Naruto's hair black against a raging corona of chakra. Sasuke's hand drops to Naruto's shoulders, and his nails bite once more into muscle. He won't cry out in pain, instead arches his neck and back into the sensation. Blood and pain and heat and pleasure. He's flush against the other boy now, balls and half-hard cock pressing exquisitely against the Kyuubi's spiral and rock hard abs.

Burning, now they're both burning, both fighting for control. Sasuke grins up at the blonde savagely, and moves enough to make his muscular buttocks flex around Naruto's cock. One of the tan hands clutching at his waist whips up and pins his right shoulder to the ground. His hips are lifted higher by the action, pushing the blonde in deeper, and suddenly Sasuke understands Naruto's facile comment about his hidden weapons cache. One brush of that iron-hard cock against something inside him and chakra sings in his veins. He's achingly hard in seconds, and muzzily thinking about adding to his equipment list.

Movement. Slow, pulling out, like a receding tide, his inner tissue and muscles rubbed with coarse velvet that tugs gently as it retreats. The hand pressing him down lifts to cup his neck. "You're not the only one turned on by power, bastard," Naruto whispers with ferocious passion. "So strong, so stoic. So powerful. You make me want to break you just as much as you want to break me."

Sasuke rakes bloody furrows down Naruto's sides, struggles not to lose to that hard heat which is sliding back in with inexorable slowness or to those fiercely arousing words. 

Retaliation, he lives for it. He squeezes the pulsing member inside him more deliberately, and is rewarded with a hard bite against his chin and a hot hand around his own cock. Fingers tickle the weeping slit there, and the words "You drive me crazy" are growled into his ear. More speed, more friction, the slow thrusting gaining ground. He throws a leg up over Naruto's shoulder, and they both moan as the blonde sinks deeper still into him. 

"You…," Naruto pants.

"You…," Sasuke grunts back, a teasing mocking look in his swirling eyes. He laughs as the blonde snarls, gives a chuckling gasp as callused fingertips rub hard under his cock and tweak his balls. White sharp teeth bared, Naruto grins back at him, snarling and swatting his rear when he tenses those muscles again.

Chakra in the air. Heat in and around him, burning away the pain, the loneliness. Power and passion and that never-ending rivalry. Ninja flexibility lets him teasingly tug Naruto's ear with his toes. Revenge comes in the shape of too-gentle bites to his nipples.

He'd expected sex to be pleasant, and is shocked to find it's fun.

He laughs as the rhythmic pounding surges through him, pressing him into the soil, and Naruto laughs with him. It's like that fantastic rush of power he got from the curse seal, but infinitely better, clean and clear, untainted. Wonderful. He's pulled up clumps of grass, too far gone to brace himself with chakra. Surging power flows between them with every steady snap of Naruto's hips. There's a pause, a plateau…

They fall together, silently.

---

There's a curious hush to the air. The chakra blowout of their orgasm has sent the cicada fleeing. Naruto rolls them both to one side. His softening member is still in Sasuke, their legs are entangled. Their breath mixes, rapid but slowing. Naruto moves the half-inch required to bump his forehead against his friend's.

"Next time, bastard," he says with a grin, "I'm gonna make you scream my name."

Slowly drawing his left leg down from Naruto's shoulder, Sasuke smirks lazily, "You wish, Dobe. Next time," and he stresses the word, "You'll be begging with mine."

They grin at each other. The battle's still on.

Right. Now, I've no idea whether to keep going with this. I think I can end it quite happily here, stamp complete on it and toddle on to the next fic. Or I can go on with them deciding that the public onsen probably won't appreciate them in the state they are in, and they head to Sasuke's for one of those outdoor tubs. Or something.

- No, seriously. I was studying papermaking in a small mountain village in Japan. My sensei took me, his wife and his sensei to a small restaurant cum art gallery. The place was very posh. Seasonal, wild vegetables hand-plucked from the mountain, whole fish covered in sea salt skewered on sticks and baked in hot sand in the middle of the table, and then out came the house speciality: A beautifully done up basket of delicately cooked tempura, accompanied by an edible flower display and a small hand-made cup. In the cup was a hot, viscous liquid, slightly clear and thin on top but thickening to a dense creamy whiteness. My hosts went into ecstasies over it, and explained that it was a lotus root something or other. I mentally went, oooo-kay, and gave it a go. Salty-sweet and textured… and we couldn't see the chef. I bottled out. Got a ribbing from the senseis for wacky western hijinx, and was told how fortunate I was to experience this delicacy. Mmhmm. I told my sensei he was welcome to my experience if he was still hungry. He was. I kept my dirty mind to myself. grin


	5. Omake

Outtake: As the humour wasn't the big thing in the last chapter… If I continue writing, the below paragraph will expand...

Naruto has used the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu to create clones of himself as gathering all the stuff is a big chore. Sadly, he's thrown off so much chakra that he can only swing a few. Sasuke mocks him, and gets Naruto asking him if he wants to take the tree home for a souvenir. They glare at each other, grab their things and make a concerted dash for the Uchiha district where they can continue their 'fight' in privacy, and better yet with warm water. They forget the combat wards, but Kakashi doesn't.

The Godaime Hokage is pouring over medical books and swearing at some mistranslation. "Yo." She looks up from her desk to glare at the nonchalant slumping form of the Copy Ninja. He shrugs, passes her something. She starts swearing. "Told you," says Kakashi, as he pockets the money he's just won off the World's Greatest Sucker, "They'd get it on, and Naruto would be on top." He vanishes in a puff of smoke. The Godaime scowls, then grins at the rather candid photo on the desk. "Well, some pictures are worth a thousand yen…"


End file.
